Working Mom?

Don't worry, I will still do my Wednesday's Workout.

I just have some stuff that I have to get out of my head and hopefully typing about it will get it out of my mind so I don't have to think about it.

I just got a call for a job interview.

I am having mixed feelings about it.

I was excited that I got the call for the interview just like I would be for any job I applied for.

But then I got off the phone and looked down at the sweet angel that was laying on my chest and a piece of my heart broke.

If I went back to work I would miss out on a lot of "firsts".

Even though I would still get to see them when I got home from work, most of his awake time I would be gone...

It's a full time position from 9 - 6.

And after I picked him up from daycare, I would only get about 1 1/2 to 2 hours of awake time.

It really is breaking my heart.

And even though this isn't a long term thing, only a year to 2 years, it's hard.

I love spending the day with my Little Man and watch him grow and learn about new things going on in this crazy world.

On the plus side, if I get this job, I will be able to finish my house, buy Little Man whatever I want, go on dates with my lover and vacations.

There are so many benefits of working.

So much more than not working.

But the parts that I will be missing are the most important...

To me they are anyways.

I have always wanted to be a stay at home Mom but things just aren't working out in my favor right now.

I have had any crying spells and know that I will have more.

(I swear I cry more after I had Lyle than before or during pregnancy)

I just have to realize that this is the thing I need to do right now.

I have prayed and prayed to be guided to where I need to be and what I needed to do.

And I knew that It would potentially be something that I didn't necessarily want to do at this time but it would be something that I needed to do to help out my family.

Everything that I am doing is for my sweet baby boy.

I know that everything will work out.

I just have to get past everything that I will miss and remember that it's all for him.

And to take less stress off Dee.

Right now I'll enjoy these sweet boys gummy smiles and contagious giggles!